Short Story > Firsts

"When I said I’d do this I didn’t realise how hard it would actually be – I even did a bit of research on it. I thought, you know, that being my first time and all I should probably follow some guidelines. It might help. But as I was doing some of that research I admit I was kind of panicking about what I’d say, how I’d be standing up in front of you guys for the very first time – like this anyway. And yes, I thank god I’m once again in a position that I can stand up now – look no crutches!! 

Anyway, it occurred to me that this woman sitting next to me – Christina Belfer: Tina or T to most of you and Ma’am to others, has been part of so many ‘firsts’ in my life. It seems so fitting that she is the actual reason for this particular one but I but I thought I might share with you some other memorable ‘firsts’ that Tina and I have shared over the years.

As most of you will already know, Tina was my first friend. Not only that, she was my first best friend. When Mandy Cross nicked my jammy dodgers on my first day school, it was Tina who shared her mighty Wagon Wheel with me and wiped my tears away. Now, I’m not casting any aspersions whatsoever but when Mandy Cross just happened to trip over as all piled out into the playground at afternoon break that very same day, and Tina seemed to be right behind her when it happened … well … I have to say I had my suspicions, ut as many of you here today know only too well evidence can be hard to come by sometimes, and although those suspicions remain with me, in a roundabout fashion justice had been served. See? Even now butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth – and she’s still not admitting to anything!!

Anyway, that day a great friendship was formed, the most important one of my life and it was that friendship that saw us through so many childhood firsts: riding a bike, learning to swim (or float in my case!), playing kiss chase … yes, I caught her! No-one told me I was supposed to chase boys for god’s sake! But she was my first kiss! We were seven. If only I knew then what I know now! Oh boy, could we have saved ourselves a whole load of hassle!

I used to write stories even then and it was Tina who I showed them to. She became my first critic, and my first fan I think – regardless of what you may have read in the press! But generally we were typical kids, and typical girls too – although some of you might not believe it! We shared our first hopes and dreams and love for Donny Osmond! We graduated to the Bay City Rollers and Duran Duran together. We talked about boys and yes, we even fancied them then too at that time! We wanted to be the UK’s version of Cagney and Lacey – although to be fair it was Cagney and Cagney that we were interested in – come on admit it, we weren’t the only ones! God bless Mary-Beth Lacey!

You may well laugh but Cagney and Lacey have a lot to answer for! The first life plan we hatched was that we would get through school, we would join the police force and we would become Beaumont and Belfer – the UK version of Cagney and Lacey. It was a sweet plan, we would battle the forces of evil together and well, at that point the ending was a little bit vague!

Of course the plan was scuppered somewhat when I was unceremoniously refused entry into the police force on the grounds of my height! I’d let the plan down because I was considered vertically challenged – or in lay man’s terms – rather short! I’d let the plan down! Yep, a 5’3” WPC in those days just didn’t cut the mustard, and it was Tina once again who was there mopping up the tears I shed because of the first real, bitter disappointment of my life, even though she had upheld her part of the plan. I always think of that time as my first break-up for some reason. We were only friends but I was heartbroken when we ‘split up’.

Of course we kept in touch – who do think was the inspiration for my first heroine? Yes, the rumours are true! Jo Connor was kind of based on T. I reckon I was living vicariously through her at that point. I used to make up Jo Connor stories and send them down to Tina all through those first two years at university, not knowing of course that the devious little so and so as actually sending them on to publishing houses for me. So yet another massive first in my life was down to Tina Belfer; I got my very first book contract entirely through her.

In those days of course we kept in touch mainly by letter. Mobile phones were in the realms of the rich at that time and catching each other by public phone was virtually impossible. I suppose it was natural that our letters grew shorter and less frequent as our lives took over. As you all know I met the infamous DJ at university and we eloped and got married on the weekend that my first book hit the bookstores.

Now I know that most of you are aware of the DJ story, God knows it was difficult to miss at the time, and I don’t want to dwell on it here for very long. But I do want to say this. Regardless of what the papers said – well the tabloids anyway – Davy James’s motivation for stalking and attempting to murder me wasn’t because I am a lesbian. We were happily married for about 9 years and unhappily married a further 6 and there’s only so long you can carry on being unhappy. His motivation was rejection and an inability to let go of what he perceived to be his possession, nothing more than that. It wasn’t until after his death that I finally realised a few things about myself that I had only had an inkling of at other times in my life.

T came to visit me in the hospital and I suppose the press were right to a degree about something at least: we had been in contact throughout those years, because you know birthday and Christmas cards and the odd coffee every 3 years or so when our schedules would allow, does constitute contact after all! It wasn’t quite the torrid affair that they concocted though. A local staff reporter saw her visit me in hospital – he’d been waiting to get an interview apparently. Anyway he spotted her, did some digging, found out about Tina and Meg; read the Jo Connor books; added the lot together and came up with my first ‘tabloid scandal’ – and my last I hope! I very much regret that my first scandal impacted on Tina and Meg’s relationship. That said however, it’s lovely to see Meg and Dawn her today.

So here we are: almost 3 years later after lots of physio and time spent together, at yet another first – more than one actually. This is the first civil partnership I have been to and it’s definitely the first best man’s speech that I’ve made. It seemed to make sense that one of us do the speech though when we’re each other’s best friend – and since I’m the one stuck at home for the most part – and apparently have a bit of penchant for writing – it seemed to be only fair that I volunteered.

So, without further ado, I’d like you all to stand with me and raise your glasses.

It’s going to be a long toast so please bear with me. To the woman whom I have come to realise was the first – and major – love of my life – and will be the last. If I had followed my heart after that day playing kiss chase all those years ago this would have come an awful lot sooner, but we finally got this far – to the first day of the rest of our lives as wife and wife; to the finally – official – Beaumont and Belfer team; to Tina; and to firsts!"

Author: Steph T.