Ok, I admit it, it had felt like a long time since I’d noticed anyone. Just now looking at her, it hit me, I felt myself stir – it felt good. It brought back memories of her, of fun and laughter and then hurt and pain. How long does it take to get over someone I wonder? Does it happen quickly, do you wake up one day and think “I’m over her”?
I don’t know, people keep telling me not to rush it “just let it happen”. Today, right now, I think it has happened, it feels kind of odd but oh so lovely, I’ve missed being with someone.
I’d been with Suzie for just over a year and been without her for almost a year. She was the first woman I’d really loved. Yes I had been with other women, I’d had a few girlfriends but, it was Suzie that I’d only loved. She made me laugh so much my sides would ache, she made me feel all warm inside and she made me want her! Until the day she told me she’d found someone else, it had been “going on for some time” she admitted, then she packed her things. She cried, sadness and guilt she said but she still left.
I didn’t cry or shout or yell. I just sat. I sat hoping for her to come through the door and say she’d made a mistake. Day became night, and night became day and I continued to just sit. I’d heard my phone ring a few times and familiar voices leaving messages but I didn’t check my messages.
My door bell rang, it was Kelly and Sam, my friends. They had seen Suzie on her way to work and she told them how she’d left me and how she’d been ringing me and I didn’t answer, she was worried. Not worried enough I thought because she never came to check on me! Instead, Kelly and Sam came round.
Now almost a year on, Kelly and Sam meet me alm
ost every Sunday morning for breakfast in our favourite café bar. We normally gossip about the week just gone, laugh, yes we laugh a lot and we eat like there’s no tomorrow!
This is where we are now, sitting comfortably flicking through the Sunday papers after breakfast and on occasions putting the world to rights! I find myself looking at her, the woman with no name that has stirred me, has awakened me and it feels good. She has always worked here in fact, I think she has, how awful of me not to know! Anyway, she has a lovely smile and such warm eyes, eyes to warm the depths of my soul. Oh, you know, I think today is definitely the day – Suzie, she’s gone, she’s out of my thoughts!
Just then the nameless woman glances over at me and smiles; she continues to serve her customers and lifts her head to look at me again. This is my cue to smile back I tell myself, so I did and then I felt myself blush – oh would you give it bloody credit? The first woman I’ve really wanted to smile at and I blush! And, with that she walks over to our table with our coffees, smiling, she’s actually smiling at me! She sets the coffees down and passes a note to me with her name and number on. By the time I read it she’d gone, which was lucky really because I blushed again goddamnit! I looked over at Kelly and Sam – they must have known all along!
So yes, today is the day! I sat there and said to myself I will call Sally and with that I looked up and she smiled that warm smile again.
Written by Rosie J
