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Lifestyle Advice > Legal > Splitting UpI consider her my daughter too, what rights do I have to see her? My girlfriend and I have lived together for the last five years and we had a child who is now three. My partner was the biological mother and I never adopted the child legally, so I was never made the legal guardian/parent. Now we have split up what are my rights to see our daughter, do I have visitation rights, who gets custody? How can I get to see my child? As with all relationships, the welfare of the children must be everyone’s priority. I am sure both you and your ex-partner want to shelter your daughter from the situation. As your ex-partner is the biological mother, she automatically has Parental Responsibility for your child. “Parental Responsibility” is a legal term, used to describe the rights and responsibilities someone has for a child. Someone with parental responsibility is able to make important decisions regarding the child’s upbringing. They have a say in their education, religious upbringing, access to medical records and can consent to medical treatment. You can acquire parental responsibility in two ways: 1. Your partner (and anyone else who may have parental responsibility) agrees to enter into a parental responsibility agreement with you. A specialist family solicitor can prepare this document for you. 2. If your partner refuses, then you can ask the Court to make an Order that you have parental responsibility. This is a more complex and long winded process and again you will need specialist advice and representation.  I’m guessing that your main concern will be getting to see the child now that the relationship has broken down. If your ex-partner is being difficult over the arrangements, you should instruct a solicitor to help out. Your solicitor will work to negotiate contact on your behalf. If your partner does not agree, then you will need to make an application to the court for a Contact Order. This will involve several court hearings, but these generally take place in private (“chambers”), not in a court room like you see on television. The only people present are you and your ex-partner, solicitors and the Judge – who wears a suit, not a wig and gown! It is not necessary for children to attend court, in fact, most of the time, children are completely unaware of what is happening. I note that you are concerned as to who will have custody. The word “custody” is not a term we use in English law, we use the term “Residence.” If you are happy for the child to remain with the biological mother, then there is no need for her to apply to the court for Residence. The Courts prefer to work on a no order principle, which means that they do not make Orders in respect of children unless it is absolutely necessary. If there is a dispute over where the child will live, either of you can make an application to Court for a Residence Order. An application for a Residence Order follows the same pattern as that for Parental Responsibility. If a Residence Order is granted in your favour, then you automatically acquire Parental Responsibility. Answer provided by Davina Warrington, family law solicitor |
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with Woolley & Co solicitors. Davina regularly advises couples on parental responsibility issues. For an initial free half-hour telephone assessment of your case call Davina on 01283 541598 and mention Sapphic Central.