Leisure > Travel Q&A

Holiday options for suddenly-singles?
I’ve recently split up with my girlfriend of 12 years and I find myself at a loose end in terms of holidays. I’m not sporty; I’m almost 50 and I’m going to be holidaying alone for quite some time. Can you recommend something that a single gay woman can do? I’m not looking for another partner, just a good holiday with a bit of company if I want it.

I’m sorry to hear that your relationship has come to an end. I know exactly how you feel. I pride myself on being an independent woman and even when I was in a relationship I often found myself travelling alone. Despite having many friends who always say they would love to come away with me, when it comes down to it there are usually time constraints and financial obstacles which get in the way. I find this suits me fine; nobody to compromise with over where to eat or what to do can have its advantages.

The disadvantages of travelling alone are not simply social, single room supplements can be a real issue, but if you are staying in a room large enough for two why would they sell it at half price? Book the elements of your holiday separately, flights and accommodation and hotels are often cheaper for singles than self catering apartments which can sometimes sleep up to 4 or 6, but make sure you pre-book a transfer from the airport especially if you arrive at night.

I find making friends quite easy and will often find someone to chat to over a glass of wine. This isn’t as easy for everyone though I know, and if the idea of holidaying alone doesn’t appeal there are still several options available to you.

Firstly, have you thought about advertising for a holiday companion? You could put an advert in your local newspaper or try one of the lesbian chat sites like Planet Sappho or Gaydar Girls. These sites are not just for young girls, in fact I would say that a large percentage of women who visit these sites are just looking for friends. We all know how hard it is to meet other lesbians, especially if you’re not city-based. Word your profile or advert carefully; make it clear that you are just looking for a holiday buddy and be selective about the age-group you are interested in hearing from. You may be surprised at the response you get; I am sure you are not the only one with this problem. Sapphic Central are in the process of setting up ‘personals’ pages which will be ready with the next round of enhancements, look out for these in the New Year.

Despite not being sporty do you have any hobbies or interests? Do you like walking for instance? Or painting maybe? Almost any activity you may be interested in will have a website and maybe group holidays arranged. I searched the internet for lesbian singles holidays and there are many available in the USA, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and even Germany and France, most of which are not aimed at fixing people up and I dare say appeal to more mature and solvent lesbians, but as far as I know there isn’t anything like them in the UK. (If any reader knows of any please let us know.) I can’t see why you shouldn’t join one of those if they travel to somewhere which appeals to you. A number of women-only companies and hotels also came up, not all of which are specifically gay, I would recommend contacting them and checking out their attitude.

Keep your eye out for the Women’s Travel Desk which should be launching next year which should be a valuable resource for all Sapphic travelling women including singles. Watch this space details will be forthcoming.  

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'No same-sex groups allowed' includes lesbians!
I was looking at a brochure recently for a self-catering cottage that sleeps 8. One of the conditions of the let is that they won’t accept same-sex groups. I assumed it’s more because of the 18-30 drinking mentality rather than being aimed at the LGB community, but when I phoned to ask whether they would accept 4 same-sex couples I was told no! It’s a small independent letting business – is there any ‘official’ organisation that I can complain to?

I wish there was! It will take someone with passion, drive and commitment to set something like that up, you could do it yourself if you feel strongly enough.

You will find that your first assumption is often correct, most large companies have a more positive outlook these days and you are right, they are protecting themselves against binge drinking teenagers. From a privately owned hotel or cottage it is harder to account for people’s prejudices. It could even be that they have allowed a gay group in the past and still had problems.

I have even heard of this kind of thing from large companies with glossy brochures but at least in these instances there would be someone to challenge. In some countries there are anti-discrimination laws in place for commercial businesses and profit making services but I think it may be some time before those can be enforced here.

If the company is ATOL (Air Travel Operators Licence) or ABTA (Association of British Travel Agents) you could email them but UK only companies are not obliged to register.

If you feel strongly enough you could try getting in touch with IGLTA (International Gay & Lesbian Travel Service) who I believe had a hand in pressurising Sandals into accepting same-sex couples, but taking on a giant is somehow easier than pursuing a sole trading business.

Your best bet is also probably small scale; contact the cottage’s local tourist board or even possibly their local paper. If you want to take it even further I’m afraid you’re probably in the realms of needing legal advice.